Frustrated? Feel like you’re falling behind? Please don’t think you have nothing to show for yourself. You have yourself to show.
|May 1|| 15|
Too long, didn’t read…
Single and frustrated? Feel like you’re falling behind? Please don’t think you have nothing to show for yourself. You have yourself to show. You have your stories and lessons as proof that you refuse to ever settle. You have yourself to show and that is something to be proud of.
Something to remember: your best days ARE NOT behind you.
You can still pick up the 60 day New Mindset Journal. Enjoy!
Single and frustrated?
Are you thinking to yourself:
“All my friends have found their person. All I have are stories. All I have are lessons learned. I have nothing to show for myself”
Well, I have news for you.
While you might not have found your person yet and you might feel like you’re falling behind, what you do have is something much more valuable.
You have something incredible.
You have a resolve to never settle.
That resolve is more powerful than being able to select “in a relationship” on Facebook or talking about quarantining with your SO.
To know that you haven’t settled and have no intention of ever settling is something that so many people don’t have.
I don’t have any numbers to back this up but I’m willing to bet that there are a lot of people in relationships right now who behind closed doors while staring at the ceiling at night admit to themselves that they are settling. They are settling for someone who is not their person. BUT their desire to not start over, to be comfortable and to not be perceived as falling behind trumps that realization.
And so they just live in that settled world.
But you? You my beautiful friend! You say you have nothing to show?
You say all you have to show for yourself are…
times you’ve been ghosted.
times you’ve been left on read.
times you shared your deepest feelings only to have them thrown in your face
times you finally thought you found the one only to realize how wrong that person truly was for you.
You say you only have stories but no love?
I say you have something more valuable than love right now. You have something that so many “settlers” wish they had but are too afraid to reset to get.
You have a determination to not settle. You have the promise of hope. You have something you hold onto.
Most of all, you have a sense of pride knowing that even though you feel like you’ve been beat up and like you’ve run a marathon you still refuse to lay down and call it quits. You refuse to settle.
That is a big deal! It really is!
Because love will come.
But your resolve and stubbornness to not settle is something you should be proud of and should offset any negative feelings you have that you’re falling behind.
You have the gift of self respect! You have the gift of self love. You have the gift of knowing what you deserve.
You have open eyes and an eager heart! That is a powerful combination :)
That’s a gift not everyone ever gets because they either settled and never looked back or they never dove deep to understand themselves.
But you my friend have been through a lot and you’re not afraid to still wait a bit longer.
You refuse to not be appreciated. You refuse to be a second option.
You refuse to settle. That is a promise you have made to yourself whether you realize it or not.
There are so many times where you could have have settled, but you didn’t because you would rather appear to be falling behind than to live a lifetime knowing you didn’t keep going.
You’ve opted for the tougher decision but it’s one that ultimately makes you whole and I’m proud of you for that.
So please don’t think you have nothing to show for yourself.
You have yourself to show.
And look at you! You’re glowing! You’re glowing with resolve and self respect and at the end of the day, THAT is what matters!
You have those stories and those lessons as proof that you refuse to settle. You have yourself to show and that is something to be proud of.
Lemme circle back.
Ya know what else you have? You have your own definition of success. That is a powerful thing!
My definition of success borrows from the homie Winston Churchill. He has a quote that says: Success is the ability to move from one failure to another without loss of enthusiasm.
But I replace failure with the word disappointment
Success = the ability to move from one disappointment to another without loss of enthusiasm.
That is why I say it is OK to be disappointed in life!
If you can be disappointed and still have a smile on your face and not overthink it, and you can do that consistently and be free of that burden of overthinking and over-assuming… then you are successful.
Don’t let disappointments dull your shine!
Don’t allow disappointments to become a reflection of your success.
Ghosted again? I’ll never be in the right relationship for me.
Didn’t close that deal? I’ll never be promoted, my career is a dead end.
Didn’t speak up when you should have? I have no confidence, I’ll never amount to anything.
Fell asleep on the couch instead of working out like you promised yourself you would? I’m a lazy fat**s.
Take those thoughts and don’t let them dull your shine. Know that they don’t define you and instead simple say: lemme circle back.
Say that instead of going down a rabbit hole of overthinking.
Let me circle back. I’ll come back to it. Later. Not now. Later. Because I don’t know what it means right now.
In my experience, you either eventually forget about a disappointment because it wasn't a big deal in the first place or you circle back in a week or so and you realize then that it’s still not a big deal.
Lemme circle back. It enables you to move forward in life without losing enthusiasm because of every pothole you hit. You no longer pull on each thread you see. You don’t over-think, over-doubt or over-assume. You see each disappointment for what it is - disappointing and you then move on.
Simple as that.
You don’t have to overthink the disappointments in your life.
Here’s the reality of life:
You're going to be disappointed in life.
You can be strong, talented, kind driven and motivated and still be screwed over.
You can be kind and selfish and still have someone abandon you.
You can be a good person and have bad things happen to you.
You can work incredibly hard and still fail.
You can trust someone and be betrayed by them.
You can know you should do something but still ignore it time and time again.
Simply put, you’re going to be disappointed in life - by yourself, by others, by both things that are in your control and others that are not.
BUT what makes you successful in life is your ability to look those disappointments in the eye and not be unraveled by them, to not overthink them, to not think that they define you, to not think that they are anything more than minor missteps amidst a much larger journey.
If you can learn to be disappointed but promise yourself to say lemme circle back instead of overthinking, over analyzing or over assuming, you’re going to be successful.
Because 99% of the time you’re going to circle back and you’re going to realize that they were just what they are - disappointments. They are not labels, conclusions or a reflection of who you are or where you’re heading.
Know that you might be confused and disappointed in the moment but you won’t end up confused and disappointed in life.
My name is Case.
I believe in the power of perspective.
Text me! 312-584-4002
Check out my twice-weekly podcast New Mindset, Who Dis?
Holler at me on Instagram @case.kenny
Enjoying the email?
Tell your friends! (it would seriously mean the world to me)
I live, write and podcast in Chicago, IL :)
Here’s to making power moves, being a carefree goofball, checking off your bucket list and living an unbothered life.