My house, my rules
My house, my rules
You don't need everyone to like you. Enter the "my house, my rules" mindset...
Too long, didn’t read…
Want to stop anxiously feeling the need to be liked by everyone? Know that your heart, soul and mind make up your house. And in your house there’s only enough chairs for people who truly deserve a seat. So flip the script and instead of wondering if they’ll like you, ask yourself if you’ll like them.
Keep texting me. I answer and chat with everyone :) 312-584-4002.
I just released a 14 minute podcast on the “my house, my rules” mindset.
I have a tip at the end of this email for how to remain hopeful.
If you missed “Caught Myself Smiling” last week, I’d love if you’d listen!
My house, my rules.
If you’re anything like me, one of your most glaring imperfections might be always wanting to be liked by everyone - a burning, anxious desire to be liked and accepted.
I used to be consumed by this… until I learned to flip the script.
I call this the “my house, my rules” mindset.
It’s a switcheroo from me desperately wanting to be liked by everyone to me saying “my house, my rules” and in my house there’s only a couple of chairs and I reserve them for people that I like, that I align with and that make sense for me. I’m not desperate to fill them with every single person.
Old Case walked into a room and hoped everyone liked him.
New Case walks into a room and wonders if he likes them.
The “my house, my rules mindset” says your head, your heart and your soul is your house. It’s yours. You own it. You’ve paid off the mortgage. You’ve redone the wallpaper, you have your home gym… everything you need.
You decide who you let in and who gets a seat at your table.
Instead of hoping someone likes you, you now ask yourself…
Do I like them? Do they deserve to come into my house? Do they deserve a seat at my table?
When that is the question you ask yourself, I think you’ll find that 99% of the time, that person on Instagram, that person from your office, that stranger at the club, some person on a dating app… they don’t deserve a seat at your table.
Just because someone is a cool cat, a banging 10/10, a Forbes 30 under 30, etc. doesn’t mean you’ll click with them. It doesn't mean you have the same fire, the same energy, the same values.
Those are the things that matter!
When you have a “my house, my rules” mentality… those are the things you look for at the door. Unless you see it, sorry homie but you’re not coming in and you’re not getting a seat at the table.
You don’t have to live in a constant state of anxious, desperate approval seeking!
This idea will lead you to step into your worth.
When you switch from “I wonder if they’ll like me” to “I wonder if I’ll like them,” you move your sense of worth from that person back to yourself… back to your house.
This mindset makes you realize that your worth is in the house you’ve build. It’s not out there in pieces with each and every person who you once thought could validate you if they decided to like you.
No! You step into your worth by realizing that before you need them, you need yourself.
With this idea in mind you are free to see another person and say:
Hello miss lady… you certainly are beautiful, but are you good for my mental health?
Hey hot confident dude, you certainly are a stud… but what do you stand for?
Hey Forbes 30 under 30, you’re successful but do your values align with mine?
Hey person with a Rolex and Lambo, you’ve got that drip and pizazz, but are you compassionate and kind?
Ask yourself those things because you know that you step into your worth when you ask yourself that first before wondering if you need that person to validate you.
You ask yourself that first BEFORE needing to be liked by that person.
Your head, heart and soul is your house and you get to decide who you bring in.
I've learned that you don't need to let everyone in. You don't need to give everyone a chair.
Not everyone deserves it!
Someone can be the hottest, most successful, funniest, most confident person in the world and at a glance you might think they’re the greatest person alive.
BUT with a bit more grace and centeredness you’ll realize that that might not be true.
It’s your house, your rules and at your table there’s only enough chairs for people who truly deserve a seat.
You get to decide who deserves a seat! You decide the criteria. Being hot, successful, funny, confident, famous, popular whatever might not be enough.
So, the next time you find yourself feeling anxious because you want to be liked by someone or everyone, take a step back and ask yourself… Do I like you? Do we align? It’s my house, my rules… do you deserve a seat at my table?
When you ask that question first instead of wondering if they’ll like you, you take back control and truly step into your worth.
Let’s go.
Still struggling?
I texted this out to everyone the other day (seriously, text me 312-584-4002) and I think it’s not only a great mindset to keep you calm right now but also relevant for this topic of wanting everyone to like you.
It’s a poem from Nayyirah Waheed:
I don't pay attention to the world ending.
It has ended for me many times
and began again in the morning.
I love that!
What better way to approach each day? Know that just because you didn’t follow through with something or you let yourself down or you failed or someone didn’t like you or you feel there’s no end to your life’s uncertainty… tomorrow is a new day.
A new day brings hope and opportunity. You can reset tomorrow. You can start over. You can try again. Know that :)
Great things are coming and you can find them every day no matter how yesterday went.
My name is Case.
I believe in the power of perspective.
Text me! 312-584-4002
Check out my twice-weekly podcast New Mindset, Who Dis?
Holler at me on Instagram @case.kenny
Enjoying the email?
Tell your friends! (it would seriously mean the world to me)
Want more?
Read previous PRSUIT emails >> Archive
Podcast >> New Mindset, Who Dis
Instagram >> @case.kenny or @prsuit
Twitter >> @thecasekenny
I live, write and podcast in Chicago, IL :)
Here’s to making power moves, being a carefree goofball, checking off your bucket list and living an unbothered life.