It's not personal
So don't stress! It’s time we all stop taking everything personally. It’s time that you realize...
Too long, didn’t read…
It’s time we all stop taking everything personally. It’s time that you realize nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality and their own dream. Brush it off and go about your life.
I had a lot of fun with this ^^ episode “Just smile and wave.” I summarized it in the last article today but I’d love if you’d give it a listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify
Keep the texts coming, friends. 312-584-4002.
Here’s a quote I like: “some days we need the music, other days we need the lyrics.” Why not both? That’s what I do on The Meditation Mixtapes.
It’s not personal :)
The moment you decide to draw a line in the sand and refuse to take things personally is the moment you set yourself free to be happy.
That sounds like quite the inspirational quote, but I’m so serious when I say that refusing to takes things personally is the key to living a happy life.
Here’s what I fundamentally believe (borrowing from Don Miguel Ruiz):
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality and their own dream.
Isn’t that the truth!?
But for some reason as humans we have this tendency to assume that people are thinking about us more waaaaay more than they really are. We think they’re staring at us, observing us and being critical of us.
And as a result we tend to think people have it out to get us when something goes wrong.
Didn’t land that deal? That person didn’t like me.
Didn’t get the job? They didn’t like me.
Coffee taking forever at Starbucks? That barista doesn’t like me and is doing it on purpose.
Your business not doing well? Your customers think you’re a joke.
Or the ultimate assumption - you didn’t include a smiley face in that text?! You must be mad at me.
Feel me? We do this A LOT!
But, my friend! Not everyone is out to get you and not everything needs to be taken personally.
The majority of the time, I’ve learned that people are just living their lives, completely consumed in their own worlds and their actions have nothing to do with you. It’s about them!
You can believe me or not but know that recognizing this has the power to make you drop your guard a bit and breathe easy.
Not everything needs to be taken personally.
In practice, this idea is really helpful because it allows you to move from rejection to rejection and from frustrating circumstance to frustrating circumstance without doubting yourself and feeling like a victim.
That person didn’t cut you off in traffic because they hate you and think you’re worthless. No! They did it because they’re late to their meeting and their *ss is on the line.
That person you talked to once on that dating app but never heard back from doesn’t think you’re a loser/ that they’re out of your league. No! They deleted the app because they decided to stop dating.
You didn’t get the job at that company but that doesn’t mean you’re not capable or valuable. It could be anything! They could’ve already made up their minds before interviewing you, decided to hire internally or not at all.
The fact of the matter is, people act out of their own self interest and that rarely is a reflection of who you are.
When you recognize this you also recognize that the only reflection of who you are is what you do. NOT what someone else does.
People act to protect themselves or better their own lives. Yes, that might sometimes suck for you and be frustrating but it’s not always a case of them thinking less of you.
So don’t doubt yourself and don’t take their actions personally. In fact, don’t even think about it.
Brush it off and go about your life.
Let’s go.
… and while you’re at it
… stop doubting yourself when you see other people winning :)
We all do this. We see someone with what we want, being the person we want to be and we get down on ourselves. We start to have thoughts that lead us to think that the world is against us, that we’ll never have our moment, that we’re falling behind. We start feeling like victims, or that we’re worthless, have nothing to offer, that it’s too late, etc.
But you don’t have to!
You can adopt a “just smile and wave mindset” where you can see someone doing something you want to do or being the person you want to be and you can see them, appreciate their success, their talent, their bank account, etc. objectively and simply smile and wave. You don’t get down on yourself.
Just smile and wave.
This mindset enables you to stay in your lane and not get thrown, not get down on yourself, not doubt yourself and not feel anxious when you feel like you’re falling behind.
Because what is your is yours and while you might not have it right now, it doesn't mean you won’t have it.
You don’t have to stress! You don't have to be anxious thinking you’ve messed up, thinking you took a wrong turn while everyone else took the right one.
Nope. Just smile and wave.
That’s my mindset because I know that in order to get what you want in life, you have to believe that you’re worthy of receiving it. You have to believe that you deserve the blessings of your vision.
And if you let feelings of envy, jealousy or self doubt get the best of you, you start to lose sight of that.
No more. No more looking at other people and thinking you’ll never get there.
Just smile and wave, my friend. Just smile and wave.
Know what you want, reinforce that every day and until you get it don’t be thrown by those who already have it or who are running laps on you…
Just smile and wave.
**** You can listen to Episode 194 here. Enjoy!
My name is Case.
I believe in the power of perspective.
Text me! 312-584-4002
Check out my twice-weekly podcast New Mindset, Who Dis?
Holler at me on Instagram @case.kenny
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I live, write and podcast in Chicago, IL :)
Here’s to making power moves, being a carefree goofball, checking off your bucket list and living an unbothered life.