đŹ Did you ask?
(Friday, January 31st). Today's power moves: get what you want by shooting your shot, stop worrying if you're unhappy right now and turn bitterness around to become better. Let's go.
Too long, didnât read
Shoot your shot, my friend. If youâre not asking, youâre not receiving and youâd be surprised how much you can gain in life by just asking for what you want. Stop worrying that youâre not ready to ask (spoiler: youâll never be fully ready), or afraid that youâll hear ânoâ back. When you ask, you take your future into your own hands and you literally skip everyone whoâs waiting in line, too afraid or nervous to ask.
- Case âokey dokeyâ Kenny (listening to Iâm happy to be myself đ”đ”)
Itâs a power move.
âSorry, but Iâm not impressed by what you do for a living, your success or $$. Iâm impressed by kindness, an eagerness to try, and a willingness to be wrong, embarrassed or rejected.â (
Case
)
đ§ I teamed up with Yotto!
Take 4 minutes to feel at peace but also energized. I created a short meditation set to the tunes of one of my favorite DJs - Yotto. I titled it âIâm happy to be myselfâ and after listening I think youâll find the power to say the same about yourself.
âââââ Listen on Spotify
Donât worry if youâre not happy all the time.
Happiness is a peculiar thing. The more we want it and look for it, the more we seem to think we donât have it and that itâs constantly eluding us.
But who says we need to be happy all the time?
Seriously! We assume that to be happy we need it ALL THE TIME. But Iâve found that happiness comes and goes and to ask yourself if youâre happy 24/7 isnât the best measure of how happy you truly are.
We need to take a chill pill and stop worrying about being in a constant state of happiness. Thatâs not realistic because if youâre growing and pushing yourself (like you should be), then youâre going to bump into inevitable struggles and failures. Those are experiences you NEED and are times where you wonât wear the label of âIâm happy.â
SO⊠the better question to ask yourself in place of âam I happy?â is âAm I OK? Am I managing whatâs happening in my life? Am I learning?â
If you can answer YES to that (I think you can), then you donât need to worry.
Celebrate the times youâre happy but also appreciate the times you feel other emotions - sad, anxious, disappointed, etc - those are the moments where youâre growing.
You need them both to live your best life.
Are you choosing to be bitter? Or better?
In sad times or in times where you feel hurt, disrespected or overlooked⊠you can make one of two decisions. You can decide to be bitter or you can decide to get better.
You can decide to live with anger, resentment or frustration towards that person, that company, yourself or the world in general.
OR you can decide to use those feelings to do better and become better.
You can choose to be bitter or you can turn it around and become better.
You can use that bitterness or whatever form it is - jealousy, resentment, anger -Â and instead of burying it and letting it eat at you, use it to transform yourself to be better.
Use it in relationships to demand the best for yourself, to better yourself and truly know who you are and what you deserve. Use it to make a promise that youâll never put yourself in that situation again, that youâll fight and fight and wait and wait until you find the person who is right for you and youâre right for them.
Use it in your career to not get down on yourself for not always winning or rising to the top as fast as you wanted. Use it when you donât get the recognition you think you deserve. Use it to get better and become more impactful.
Use it in your personal life and how you see yourself. Use it to say Iâm going to get better instead of seeing myself as weak or less or falling behind. Say, yes Iâm not where I want to be but Iâm going to get better. Iâm going to do better.Â
That is how you use bitterness in your life to become better.
** Want to know more? Listen to this 20 minute podcast I just released on this topic :) You can listen here Apple Podcasts | Spotify.
Todayâs soul food.
Ask and you shall receiveâŠ
As much as Iâm the first person to be annoyed by this⊠I want you to be that person who raises their hand at the end of class or the end of a meeting and says âone last question.â
Seriously.
Just ask. Just ask. Just ask.
If youâre not asking in your life, youâre not getting answers and if youâre not getting answers, youâll never truly know what youâre capable of. That would be such a shame!
Life rewards those who ask for what they want.
I personally have sooooo many recent examples of asking. Quite literally if you looked at my email outbox, my DMs or my texts - itâs A LOT of me asking for what I want.
Hey! Iâd love to write an article for the in-flight magazine of American Airlines. (done)
Hey! Iâd love to collaborate with you to create a cool guided meditation. (done)
Hey! Iâd love to audition for a voice acting role for ____. (audition is next week)
Point is⊠if you donât ask, youâll never get that thing.
Seriously. If you expect that thing, that person or that experience to just drop in your lap⊠good luck! Youâll literally be sitting around hoping and waiting for a loooooong time.
When you ask, you take your future into your own hands and you literally skip everyone whoâs waiting in line, too afraid or nervous to ask.
Yes, asking for what you want is inherently self serving. BUT this is your life and you need to start going after what you want - aggressively and without fear! You need to ask, ask, ask and have no hesitation or fear of hearing ânoâ or the âoccasional f*ck off!'â
You need to send that DM, that text or that email. You need to walk up to that person and be direct.
âHey! I want to be promoted! What is it going to take?â
âHey! Do you want to go out with me?â
âHey! Hereâs my writing, what do you think?â
âHey! Iâm interested in interviewing for___. How can I make this happen?â
Shoot your shot, my friend.
This isnât a particularly revolutionary idea - we all know we need to ask, but we donât.
We throw excuses out like:
âIâll wait until Iâm actually ready or prepared.â
âIâm afraid of being told no - thatâs embarrassing!â
âTheyâll definitely say no.â
And so on and so onâŠ
But hereâs the thing: youâll never be 100% ready and youâd be surprised by what you get when you simply ask.
Not only do you get clarity in your life instead of those lingering âwhat ifsâ, but youâll find out quickly that people are surprisingly willing to help you. People want to help! They really do!
Iâve found that people love to use their influence, experience and knowledge to help others. It feels good and if people believe in you (even if only a little), more often than not⊠theyâre willing to help.
You find this out by asking!
So, start asking!
Donât assume itâs a no⊠ask!
But Case! What if I donât know what to ask?
I feel you there. Thereâs a quote from a fella named Ed Parker that says â⊠if you donât ask the right questions, I canât give you the answers, and if you donât know the right question to ask, youâre not ready for the answers.â
Thereâs nothing wrong with not knowing what you need to ask, but right now Iâd challenge you to sit down and figure out the questions you should be asking in your life.
Sit down and say to yourself⊠âWhat are TWO things I want in my life right now that I donât have?â
Consider those two things and then find a way to ask for something related to them in the next week. Anything. Big or small. Ask for a favor. Ask for advice or guidance. Ask for an introduction.
Youâll be surprised by how fast you can move forward when you start asking.
Shoot your shot and see what happens. Youâll be surprised how many times you hear âyes.â
Letâs go.
Things that make me smile
1. I wrote an article in American Airlineâs in-flight magazine! This was a really cool moment for me and just goes to show what can happen when you JUST ASK. (via American Airlines)
2. Science says owning a dog is tied to lowering your risk of dying early by 24%. Donât have that dog youâve always wanted? Might be time to adopt :) (via CNN)
3. This man needed help with sonâs third-grade math homework â and got it from a stranger on the subway. Check out this picture of a man wearing red who got on the subway, opened his folder and started reading. A few stops later, a man got on and asked him, "What are you studying for? You look confused⊠maybe I can help?" He said, "My son just failed a math test. Iâm re-studying fractions. I can teach you." (via Washpo)
My name is Case.
I believe in the power of perspective. Holler at me on Instagram @case.kenny and check out my twice-weekly podcast New Mindset, Who Dis?
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**SIDE EFFECTS from reading the PRSUIT mindfulness email may include making power moves, being a carefree goofball, checking off your bucket list and living an unbothered life.
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I live, write and podcast in Chicago, IL :)