💬 Did you ask?
(Friday, January 31st). Today's power moves: get what you want by shooting your shot, stop worrying if you're unhappy right now and turn bitterness around to become better. Let's go.
|Jan 31, 2020||14|
Too long, didn’t read
Shoot your shot, my friend. If you’re not asking, you’re not receiving and you’d be surprised how much you can gain in life by just asking for what you want. Stop worrying that you’re not ready to ask (spoiler: you’ll never be fully ready), or afraid that you’ll hear “no” back. When you ask, you take your future into your own hands and you literally skip everyone who’s waiting in line, too afraid or nervous to ask.
- Case “okey dokey” Kenny (listening to I’m happy to be myself 🎵🎵)
It’s a power move.
“Sorry, but I’m not impressed by what you do for a living, your success or $$. I’m impressed by kindness, an eagerness to try, and a willingness to be wrong, embarrassed or rejected.” (
🎧 I teamed up with Yotto!
Take 4 minutes to feel at peace but also energized. I created a short meditation set to the tunes of one of my favorite DJs - Yotto. I titled it “I’m happy to be myself” and after listening I think you’ll find the power to say the same about yourself.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Listen on Spotify
Don’t worry if you’re not happy all the time.
Happiness is a peculiar thing. The more we want it and look for it, the more we seem to think we don’t have it and that it’s constantly eluding us.
But who says we need to be happy all the time?
Seriously! We assume that to be happy we need it ALL THE TIME. But I’ve found that happiness comes and goes and to ask yourself if you’re happy 24/7 isn’t the best measure of how happy you truly are.
We need to take a chill pill and stop worrying about being in a constant state of happiness. That’s not realistic because if you’re growing and pushing yourself (like you should be), then you’re going to bump into inevitable struggles and failures. Those are experiences you NEED and are times where you won’t wear the label of “I’m happy.”
SO… the better question to ask yourself in place of “am I happy?” is “Am I OK? Am I managing what’s happening in my life? Am I learning?”
If you can answer YES to that (I think you can), then you don’t need to worry.
Celebrate the times you’re happy but also appreciate the times you feel other emotions - sad, anxious, disappointed, etc - those are the moments where you’re growing.
You need them both to live your best life.
Are you choosing to be bitter? Or better?
In sad times or in times where you feel hurt, disrespected or overlooked… you can make one of two decisions. You can decide to be bitter or you can decide to get better.
You can decide to live with anger, resentment or frustration towards that person, that company, yourself or the world in general.
OR you can decide to use those feelings to do better and become better.
You can choose to be bitter or you can turn it around and become better.
You can use that bitterness or whatever form it is - jealousy, resentment, anger - and instead of burying it and letting it eat at you, use it to transform yourself to be better.
Use it in relationships to demand the best for yourself, to better yourself and truly know who you are and what you deserve. Use it to make a promise that you‘ll never put yourself in that situation again, that you’ll fight and fight and wait and wait until you find the person who is right for you and you’re right for them.
Use it in your career to not get down on yourself for not always winning or rising to the top as fast as you wanted. Use it when you don’t get the recognition you think you deserve. Use it to get better and become more impactful.
Use it in your personal life and how you see yourself. Use it to say I’m going to get better instead of seeing myself as weak or less or falling behind. Say, yes I’m not where I want to be but I’m going to get better. I’m going to do better.
That is how you use bitterness in your life to become better.
Today’s soul food.
Ask and you shall receive…
As much as I’m the first person to be annoyed by this… I want you to be that person who raises their hand at the end of class or the end of a meeting and says “one last question.”
Just ask. Just ask. Just ask.
If you’re not asking in your life, you’re not getting answers and if you’re not getting answers, you’ll never truly know what you’re capable of. That would be such a shame!
Life rewards those who ask for what they want.
I personally have sooooo many recent examples of asking. Quite literally if you looked at my email outbox, my DMs or my texts - it’s A LOT of me asking for what I want.
Hey! I’d love to write an article for the in-flight magazine of American Airlines. (done)
Hey! I’d love to collaborate with you to create a cool guided meditation. (done)
Hey! I’d love to audition for a voice acting role for ____. (audition is next week)
Point is… if you don’t ask, you’ll never get that thing.
Seriously. If you expect that thing, that person or that experience to just drop in your lap… good luck! You’ll literally be sitting around hoping and waiting for a loooooong time.
When you ask, you take your future into your own hands and you literally skip everyone who’s waiting in line, too afraid or nervous to ask.
Yes, asking for what you want is inherently self serving. BUT this is your life and you need to start going after what you want - aggressively and without fear! You need to ask, ask, ask and have no hesitation or fear of hearing “no” or the “occasional f*ck off!'“
You need to send that DM, that text or that email. You need to walk up to that person and be direct.
“Hey! I want to be promoted! What is it going to take?”
“Hey! Do you want to go out with me?”
“Hey! Here’s my writing, what do you think?”
“Hey! I’m interested in interviewing for___. How can I make this happen?”
Shoot your shot, my friend.
This isn’t a particularly revolutionary idea - we all know we need to ask, but we don’t.
We throw excuses out like:
“I’ll wait until I’m actually ready or prepared.”
“I’m afraid of being told no - that’s embarrassing!”
“They’ll definitely say no.”
And so on and so on…
But here’s the thing: you’ll never be 100% ready and you’d be surprised by what you get when you simply ask.
Not only do you get clarity in your life instead of those lingering “what ifs”, but you’ll find out quickly that people are surprisingly willing to help you. People want to help! They really do!
I’ve found that people love to use their influence, experience and knowledge to help others. It feels good and if people believe in you (even if only a little), more often than not… they’re willing to help.
You find this out by asking!
So, start asking!
Don’t assume it’s a no… ask!
But Case! What if I don’t know what to ask?
I feel you there. There’s a quote from a fella named Ed Parker that says “… if you don’t ask the right questions, I can’t give you the answers, and if you don’t know the right question to ask, you’re not ready for the answers.”
There’s nothing wrong with not knowing what you need to ask, but right now I’d challenge you to sit down and figure out the questions you should be asking in your life.
Sit down and say to yourself… “What are TWO things I want in my life right now that I don’t have?”
Consider those two things and then find a way to ask for something related to them in the next week. Anything. Big or small. Ask for a favor. Ask for advice or guidance. Ask for an introduction.
You’ll be surprised by how fast you can move forward when you start asking.
Shoot your shot and see what happens. You’ll be surprised how many times you hear “yes.”
Things that make me smile
1. I wrote an article in American Airline’s in-flight magazine! This was a really cool moment for me and just goes to show what can happen when you JUST ASK. (via American Airlines)
2. Science says owning a dog is tied to lowering your risk of dying early by 24%. Don’t have that dog you’ve always wanted? Might be time to adopt :) (via CNN)
3. This man needed help with son’s third-grade math homework — and got it from a stranger on the subway. Check out this picture of a man wearing red who got on the subway, opened his folder and started reading. A few stops later, a man got on and asked him, "What are you studying for? You look confused… maybe I can help?" He said, "My son just failed a math test. I’m re-studying fractions. I can teach you." (via Washpo)
My name is Case.
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**SIDE EFFECTS from reading the PRSUIT mindfulness email may include making power moves, being a carefree goofball, checking off your bucket list and living an unbothered life.
I live, write and podcast in Chicago, IL :)